The Eve of My 30th Birthday!

I wrote this last Friday but only had the time and the guts to post this now. This entry is one week late!

30 long years! God…it’s quite scary when I think about it, more so as I type it and even more is the thought of its impending and inevitable reality. I’ll be 30 in a few hours and even as I struggle to inject in my mind that it’s just another birthday there is something about the number that feels like I am starting over a new phase, leaving something behind…moving to a next level…leaving my comfort zone. It is time to face the real world.

You turned 1 with a bang but you are clueless. You’re not even aware that your parents will bring you to a portrait studio to have your picture taken. Even so, you managed to look nice in your one-year picture. You turned 7 and you are just grateful for the gifts and the celebration. Then you turned 12, very excited and impatient to be 13…when high school and the fun start. Then you turn 16, life’s a breeze and everything’s easy. Age 21 comes and you are quite sad that your teenage years are physically over but in your mind are wondering why you still feel 15. You dread age 25 but when it comes, you still feel like 15. Suddenly you are about to turn 30 and you can’t think of anything but the thought that you have probably spent half of your lifetime.

Can’t remember when I stopped getting excited for my birthday. I mean time comes when you don’t really count the years because it suddenly amazed you that you have been here too long and you hardly noticed it. All those years have come and gone so fast… you long for a rewind...a repeat performance. But one can never return and can even pretend that it never existed.

Anyway, I can say that before I turn 30, I have a few accomplishments to boast, learned a lesson or two, and have seen and experienced quite a bit of what this world has to offer. My life is far from perfect and I have not really followed the so-called right path. But at least I will turn 30 carrying my wonderful plans and dreams for the many years to come in my life.
I think being 30 sort of scared me because in a lot of ways it seems that the years just roll but I remain the same. It is funny because I am certain that after 10 years when I turn 40, I will start wishing I am 30. Oh we make life so complicated!